Ready or Not?? Grading - 29 May 2012

So last night at class, Sensei hands us our Grading forms. I was like ok, I don't think I am ready to grade again and so soon. I mean, I must be doing something right if Sensei feels that I am ready to grade in two weeks. So before we went home last night, I say to Sensei: "Must I grade on the 29th May?? I dont think and feel that I am ready?!?!" So his answer to me really shocked me!

"Michelle, it isn't all day that I train students that have a natrual talent like you do. When you started in my class, I was very proud to have you as a student and loved training you. I mean when you were blue belt you were doing a side thrust kick better than any of my black belts at that stage! When you left karate years back, my heart was sad, sad for you, for giving up your God given talent. Because I knew what you were losing and throwing away. I was so glad the day you came back (Jan 2012) and can see you haven't lost your touch or ability. I know you can grade and that you are ready."

Never had I thought that this was what Sensei and other people saw in me. I always think to myself I could have done better and that I am not happy with anything I do. Because I am a perfectionist, nothing ever feels good enough or perfect!

Well nothing in life is perfect and I am also not and will never be. I should learn to be happy with me giving and doing my best when it is in fact my very best!! I will grade and trust that my Sensei see what is best in me, he has been doing this for many years and know what he is talking about. If he then feels that I shoulnd't progress to the next kyu after doing all the grading requirements, then I trust and respect his decision.

Am still nervous though..


cris donovan's picture

WOW! What a great honour to be considered that way by your Sensei. Congrats KK.