sense over pride
after a horrendous week of emotional turmoil last week it was with a lot of trepidation i trained on Saturday.
I knew the Master would ask to grade me and i knew i wasn't mentally up to it.
He did ask, i said i didn't feel right about it, and i asked what was my options, he said i didn't have any and gave me a Sabumnim to go through my stuff for 40 minutes and prepare for it in the 2nd hour of the class.
i was ok, but on reporting back to the Master the Sabumnim said i just needed to polish up my form a little more... reprieve!
No grief, just hard drilling of the forms for the rest of the class.
due to my back i just hadn't gone over my stuff enough, as well as using much of my class time as previously mentioned helping others- the one down side to doing the family class more often than any other class.
now, i feel good about the forms as they are well re-seated in my head. i'll need to do just a little more on the self defence stuff but am basically ready now, and am glad i have the capacity to take it on only when ready... although we seldom actually are!